Sometimes, growth is not fun. Sometimes it's like when you were a kid and you had to have a badly skinned knee cleaned... sheer PAIN, but necessary pain, nonetheless. My kiddo had a knee injury last year where he skinned his knee and had all kinds of dirt and gravel in it. I don't do so well with things of that nature, so luckily he was at school when it happened and it was all cleaned up for the most part by the time he got home. :) His little knee was tender for quite a while... JUST about the time he had almost forgotten about it even happening, he fell playing basketball and the EXACT same place got skinned again. Again it hurt, again it had to be cleaned, and again with time, it got better. The scar is there, but it no longer hurts to touch it.
My point? I'm an onion. And, not only am I an onion, but I'm an onion in a locked box. I've always used that as a way to describe myself. I'm very layered and kinda like they say on The Blind Side (which is a WONDERFUL movie, btw), you have to peel me back in layers... I watched that movie last night and it really hit home with me. Sometimes I think it's good to guard your heart (the Bible even tells us to do so)... but, then I think that I'm not quite balanced in that area. I'm tough tough tough to peel and for some people, you never even get to the onion because you can't open the box. I thought for a couple of years that I was changing from an onion to... well... I'm not sure what.. but something other than an onion :) But, I've realized over a series of events that I'm still just as Vidalia as ever... in a locked box. I got into a conversation with someone the other day and they sort of put me in check about my boxy onion nature... It wasn't easy to hear but it reminded me that I haven't arrived... I think I forget that sometimes. I think I have sort of figured it all out... I haven't... you haven't... and none of us ever will have it totally together. What I'm trying to do now is figure out a nice balance between being guarded in a good way and being totally unavailable emotionally to people who really want to be in my life. So, if you are one of those people... be patient with me... know that I understand I am difficult to put up with, and that hopefully I can at least eventually get rid of the stinking box!!!
p.s. onions may stink at times... but they can be REALLLLLY sweet and add lots of flavor to food.... or life ;)