I'm sorry I've neglected you... Life got busy. I've been in a whirlwind of changes for about the past 6 months that have been life changing, to say the least. I finally, right here at the end of the year, feel like I'm starting to get a handle on things.. . (ask me if I still have a handle in a few weeks.. ha ha)...
Like everyone else, the closing of one year and the beginning of another always makes me feel like it's the perfect time to "change" what needs to be changed, "start" healthier habits, "begin" to realllly be a stickler about my finances, "give up" things that may not be so good for me... But, I'm gonna use this little forum to share something I've learned over the past year. Sometimes, life doesn't wait for the "New Year" to change on you in an instant. That can be a good thing or a bad thing... This year, I've experienced both. I'll spare you the details.. but, let's just say I've had little control over my life changing. The most recent change for me came in the form of a new job... and though I chose that job... I knew full well that God had opened that door for me and that not even I, could shut it. Reflecting back, it's one of the easier decisions I've had to make in life. I just knew it was time for a change and I knew that was the avenue I was supposed to take. Scared? Ummm, YAH... But, there is something so amazing about the peace that God gives when it's something HE wants you to do. I have NO clue what I'm doing... NO clue where it's gonna lead... and NO clue why He has me going this way. I just know He does.
There's a point to me sharing all this... The big lesson for me has been that at the end of the day... I just don't understand God's ways when it comes to the things that concern me. I've been reminded of the verses in Isaiah... “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. (c 55 vv 8,9) Let's take it a step further.... I also came to a really ugly conclusion about myself. I realized that in all honesty, I've been selfishly consumed with trying to figure out His ways for "me". As much as I think I know about what He has planned for my life... as much as I've thought I was walking down the right road at times... He is not a God Who wants us to know everything... and at the end of the day, it finally clicked in my head that it isn't my business to worry about MY life. HE is in it... and because of that, there is no need to know all the stupid details that I deem so important. MY business should be about the lives of others. While God is mysterious in some ways, He is equally as obvious in others. He gives us VERY CLEAR instructions on widows and orphans... TAKE CARE OF THEM TIL IT HURTS. He gives us precise guidance on others less fortunate than us.. BE HIS HANDS AND FEET... Give of what we have and if it's COMFORTABLE, it IS NOT ENOUGH... Use the blessings He has given us to increase His kingdom.
So what am I getting at? Yeah, I have some things I'd like to tweak in my own life... And, I'll work on that of course... But, for the first time ever, my "resolutions" will revolve around others... being the best mother I can be FOR Landon... being the kind of worship leader at Refuge Point Church that, by the power of the Holy Spirit, does as Paul and Silas did and break the chains of those in bondage, lock arms with other believers and do whatever dirty, stinky, self sacrificing work it takes to change the face of the rundown cities surrounding me. I'm finally starting to realize the meaning of Matthew 6:33... It says, "But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you..." I'm gonna seek FIRST the ways the kingdom of God can be increased and stop worrying so much about things that have the ability to change in an instant. It's just that simple.
Sooooooooooooo...... Here's to a New Year... and a new perspective!!!
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